Light and Shade
by Rose G
Summary: Moiraine betrays something very, very precious - Lan's trust. No man is meant to be alone, especially in the war against the Shadow.


Light and Shadow

Rose G

Disclaimer -All characters, settings etc are the property of Robert Jordan and I have made no money from using them.

Moraine raised a hand to her mouth to stifle a laugh and Perrin, when his golden eyes followed hers to the other side of the room had to do the same.

Lan was slouching against a wall with a wineglass in his hand as though he would rather have had a sword. His posture and attitude seemed normally, yet Perrin could read something in those cold blue eyes that Moraine seemed to miss. He was silently asking if not for help, for a favour.

Standing nearly in front of him was a girl - a very pretty girl in a low cut dress: Berelian, First of Mayene and a descendant of Artur Hawkwing. She was going to end up in Lan's bed before the night was out - Perrin had no doubt of that. And Lan's thoughts on that were easy to read - 'For love of the Light, Moraine, get her away from me.' 

Moraine was laughing now; Lan had tied to take a step backwards and met the wall with his hip. His thoughts were filtering through the bond that she had long ago refined, and his exasperation was almost more than she could cope with, contrasting as it was with his normal bitter anger at the world. She made a deliberate attempt to shit the bond out.

'Are you going to go over, Moraine Sedai?'

'Why? He is a grown man - he fights his own battles, this one as well as those that involve Trollocs.'

Perrin couldn't stifle a vague sense of guilt, but he walked away, heading back towards Faile. _My falcon, Faile. _He only just heard the conversation following him.

'Lan, you must have had experience on defending an area, so would you be able to give me any advice on looking after Cairhien for a while?'

The Warder looked murderous, but replied. 'Well uh…I-I…'

Berelain raised one eyebrow, her shrewd blue eyes assessing his muscular yet somehow spare frame. 'We could go someplace more private if you dislike talking here.'

Lan shifted his weight uneasily, suprisingly nosily and locked eyes with Moraine. Rand saw her shake her head slight in a floating cloud of dark hair. Berelain laid one hand on Lan's shoulder - reflexively, he shied away from the touch - ad they walked from the room in the Stone of Tear together.

It was late the next morning when Moraine met Lan stalking down a corridor with no emotion in his blue eyes and a scowl on his face. The bond conveyed nothing save a longing for his home in Sheiner which pulled at her heart.

'I asked you for aid yesterday, Moiraine Sedai and yet you did not. Is that my thanks for saving you in the past?' His voice was a low hiss.

'It was not urgent, Lan. You coped.'

'And you enjoyed watching, manipulating, playing your White Tower games with me. Would it have been so very difficult to aid me?'

'No, Lan, it would not have been but I will not always be there.'

Lan looked across at the woman who held his bond - his destiny and flinched as she saw the bleakness in his eyes - emptiness that death itself would flinch from.

'I thought that I could trust you, Moiraine. Why did I never realise that being a Warder means protecting those who do not return the favour, working until death - and after, if you could find a way- I trusted you!'

His voice, his grief was like a whiplash across her face enhanced by the emotion in the bond - resignation and a hollowness that signified loneliness. Involuntarily, she reached one hand out towards him.

Lan shied away like a startled horse, eyes full of sorrow. 'I thought I could trust you, just one person in all my life…But I can't.' And with that he was gone, walking away swiftly with all the grace of a man who danced with stallions and swords every day of his life.

Moiraine watched him go rueing her actions. A whisper followed him 'In the name of the Light, protect him from his own hand and others.'

He tried to ignore the stinging in his eyes and only he prayer heard his own. 'The last embrace of the mother welcome me home soon.'


End file.
